And a Rooster Crowed

 John 18:1 – 19:42

There are stories in Scripture that move me to tears no matter how many times I read them. One of those stories is found in the larger narrative that encompasses Jesus’ arrest, imprisonment, torture, and death in today’s readings. Woven into the narrative of Jesus’ testimony before the chief priest and His trial before Pilate is the account of Peter’s denial of Jesus. Not once, not twice, but three times he denies knowing Jesus, just as Jesus had predicted. When I get to verse 18:27, I always find a lump in my throat: “Peter denied it again, and immediately a rooster crowed.” (CEB)

Peter had adamantly insisted that he would never deny or abandon Jesus earlier in the evening at the Passover meal. I think it probably hurt Peter’s feelings to hear Jesus say that he would do this to someone he clearly loved and had followed for three years. It would hurt mine. Verse 27 is the fulfillment of Jesus’ prediction. We aren’t told anything about Peter’s reaction when he hears the rooster crow and realizes he did exactly what Jesus said he would, despite his objections. I’m brought to tears when I think about how Peter must have felt in that moment—how disappointed, how lonely, how guilty, how ashamed he must have been. He swore he would follow Jesus always, and in a matter of a few hours, he had disowned the One whom he had rightly identified as the Messiah, the Son of the Living God (see Matthew 16:16). It is a heartbreaking development in a night full of heartbreak.

Peter never intended to deny Jesus. He had every intention of staying the course, being faithful, and walking every step with Him. Yet, on that fateful night, every single time he was asked about Jesus and his identity as a disciple, he distanced himself, lied about his relationship, and completely disowned Him. He let his fear get the better of him. He didn’t want to be associated with Jesus because that was dangerous. So we can add to the emotional weight of the moment the shame that comes with realizing that you are a coward too.

That simple verse makes me cry every time.

I cry because I have empathy for Peter. But I cry, too, because I am Peter. No matter my intentions and high-minded declarations, I have denied Jesus—out of fear, pride, or stubborn independence. I have been more interested in selfishness than sacrificial love. I have done or said un-Christlike things out of fear and discomfort. I have rejected Christ because I mistakenly believe that I can do this all on my own. I cry for my own failings. I cry because we are all Peter. As we contemplate the cost of God’s grace on this Good Friday, let us also be honest with ourselves about the many ways we are like Peter and deny the One who creates us, redeems us, and sustains us.

Rev. Dana Ezell