Heard and Held

Psalm 116:1–2
I love the Lord because he hears my voice
    and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,
    I will pray as long as I have breath!

After this week's reflections on the ongoing work of reforming my inner life, I'm going to be real with you. This stubborn work is as much of a tiring effort as it is an illuminating blessing. My failures exceed my successes by a hearty margin, and sometimes it is downright demoralizing. Evenings especially are the meeting place between the hopes I had for the day and the brutal reality of what the day actually was. It's also a sacred time for me.

By the time the entire house is filled with the soft sound of my children's little sleep respirations, and right before I chime in with my own fortissimo snores, I take those silent minutes to talk with God. This Psalm makes my eyes tickle with little tears when I read the description of a father tenderly bending to give his ear to his child. I know that whatever that day was or was not, my Father is there and listening to me. He instilled in me an unending desire to connect with him, and he is available for me in my used up hypnagogic state; to thank him and to ask for his help on this long quest of theosis.

From the Confessions of St. Augustine

You have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you. Amen.

Heard and Held,
Grace Sewell