Acceptance
Both the words gratitude and grace come from the same latin root, gratia. That is to say that if grace is the expression of undeserved favor, then gratitude is its proper response. The experience of the undeserved gift or act of love fills one with gratitude precisely because we recognize that we are unable to pay it back. The power of that experience can transform the way that we experience life.
Like all wonderful things, gratitude can be misunderstood or misused because we are so stuck in human economies that operate by scarcity, we are blinded to the divine economy. Gratitude that runs toward obligation is simply coercion. “I did _____ for you, therefore you are indebted to me and obliged to repay my largesse” is not an expression of grace, but rather a coercive transaction. That much is hopefully obvious, but we are often much more in danger from ourselves than from others imposing a false gratitude upon us. Grace is extremely damaging to our egos. We want the scales to be balanced, and if we receive something that we feel is undeserved then our egos will put us in debt. We cannot simply accept something that is good–our egos tell us that we must earn it. We are deeply uncomfortable accepting something we feel unworthy of.
But that’s the entire project of the Gospel!
20th century German minister, philosopher, and proclaimed “enemy of the Reich,” Paul Tillich famously wrote:
“We cannot transform our lives, unless we allow them to be transformed by that stroke of grace. It happens; or it does not happen. And certainly it does not happen if we try to force it upon ourselves, just as it shall not happen so long as we think, in our self-complacency, that we have no need of it. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: "You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!" If that happens to us, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before. But everything is transformed. In that moment, grace conquers sin, and reconciliation bridges the gulf of estrangement. And nothing is demanded of this experience, no religious or moral or intellectual presupposition, nothing but acceptance.”
Gratitude is the very practice by which we accept that we are accepted by God. It is a grace that can never be repaid. It is a grace that has no expectation of being earned. Give up your ego, let go of your need to be worthy and rest in gratitude.
Rev. Ryan Young
